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| Phia's Mom (has got it goin on) |
I know guys, I know. I have been slacking. It's been almost a full month
since I last posted, but I have a good reason! The clouds parted, and on
a a rainbow sunbeam landed Mak Om, Phia's mom. She kicks ass, takes
names, then forgets the ones that aren't important. Here my top 5
legitimizing reasons for having such a huge lady crush on Mak:
1.
THE FOOD. She's
like a vending machine, but with better food, and it also encourages
you to eat, and tells you about the food it gives you. She worries if I
don't eat. She encourages me to eat. Often. She cooks all kinds of
stuff. She encourages me to eat. Food
everywhere.
ALL
THE
TIME.
2.
She's a doer.
This lady is all about getting stuff done. This is something I can
appreciate, because I have been known to be very active in short,
intense spurts. Her first day here, she had the faucet changed. A week
in, she had a leaky bidet hose (yeah I don't wanna talk about it) fixed.
It's not enough that I just like these things because it's stuff
happening (happening stuff is a "like" of mine), but these things really
should have been changed. The faucet was one of those push down ones
that slowly comes up, like in the beach bathroom because they don't want
the beach bums
(no offense to any homeless person who
lives in a beach bathroom. We've all been there, even if only for the
week of Fiesta or ASVT) to leave the faucets on and kill the
whales. She walked in, said f*ck that, and now it's a normal twisty
faucets that people with self control and attention spans are trusted to
use. BAM.
3.
She is some sort of repellent. Phia and I were having some problems with
pest control
for a while, and Mak has put an end to that. Nuff said. On a somewhat
related note, I saw a moth (that's right, the evil butterfly's uglier
and eviler cousin) as big as my index and ring finger next to each
other. I do NOT have small hands. Just thinking about it makes me want
to pee and puke. Anywhoo, I was left to believe that she removed it from
our outer-door hallway area (I made Phia peek out the door while I held
weapons a couple of feet behind her). Crisis averted.
4.
She's from United.
If you've talked to me lately, you've probably good how all things from
"United" are good. United is Mak's way of saying "The (Mighty and
Wonderful) United States of America". I thought that this lady is from
Cambodia, she did not leave in the most desirable conditions, she built a
successful life and a family in a new country, she must be happy to
come back here and floss like a boss. No? She kind of hated not having
her regular American conveniences? She's more patriotic than
anyone I've ever met? Oh. Nothing
is off-limits. Cherries, possible husbands for her daughters (there are
4, 3 are unmarried, all are goooooorg), cars, drivers, meat, packaged
food, drinks, restaurants, furniture, strawberries, air... you name it.
All of them are
far better In
United. Phia and I have been trying to tape some of these gems, so we
can edit the video and send it to Obama. Lady deserves some sort of
medal of honor or something...
5.
No, really, she does. All the food and patriotism aside, Mak is super badass. I don't know how much you know about
Cambodia's fairly recent past, not to mention
this and
this,
but she's lived through it all, struggled through it all, seen it all.
She's some sort of lady phoenix, rising and rising from the craziness of
the world.
Of course, I miss my mom, and my family, but I couldn't ask for a better Mak than Mak.
Plus, you know, she encourages me to eat.
